How Newborn Babies Are Like Black Holes
1. Like Black Holes, babies warp time and space.
For example, whenever I hold Alex time slows down, just as time stretches out as it reaches the event horizon.
2. Like Black Holes, babies suck in everything around them.
For example, Alex will attempt to suck on anything. Fingers, toys, and my nipples. Note to self: no matter how hot it is, leave your shirt on...
3. Like Black Holes, babies let nothing escape.
For example, once I start holding Alex, I cannot put him down, even if he is asleep. If I do, he knows.
He always knows.
4. Like Black Holes, babies cannot be completely understood.
For example, when Alex cries, I usually have no idea if he wants to eat, sleep, or just has gas...
5. Like Black Holes, babies are merciless.
For example, no matter how tired or hungry I am, Alex does not care. I am his.
posted by emeraldcite @ 6:39 PM
9 comments
9 Comments:
Aren't babies adorable? I smiled all the way through this. :)
They are. Too adorable.
Ohh, I remember feeling just this way when my son was a newborn! I remember those first six weeks as being the happiest time in my life. You're right, time stopped, and it was bliss.
Then he developed food intolerances and the reality of life with a child kicked in. LOL But it's still been the best three years of my life. I can only hope it will be as good when his little brother arrives!
Enjoy!
awww, so nice, emeraldcite. i'm sure you'll save this piece for him. i especially liked: "no matter how tired or hungry I am, Alex does not care. I am his."
but i also really liked the nipple part. :D
So is there a bizarro universe inside the little guy? ;)
Love your post. I totally agree. I am told that once they hit adolescence, the black hole gets your wallet, too.
Boy, does this bring back memories. Great post, Emeraldcite. :)
Congratulations on Alex's arrival and his usurping the power of the entire household. He is now emporer.
thanks!
We seriously considered Hrothgar as his name. It was almost his middle name, but we gave our grandfathers (who are both named paul) that honor.
I can't wait to have a black hole of my own. But I need to find a cheap date first.
And yes, put your shirt on, buddy. The visual of a baby and your nipple does not do well with me.
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